I don't like Cricket

What a bunch of wank

Apologies for my silence yesterday. I was in Brussels, a cricket-free zone. Just as well.

I received the news in the form of a text message from the Napoleon of our Collective. I was sitting with some MPs. I said, it looks like we lost the Test! They asked, what does the text message say? I said I couldn't read it out, but reading between the lines, it could only mean one thing.

I've included the wording of this text message somewhere in this post. Can you spot it?

My only comments on the amendation of the Collective Manifesto below is that I note the Collective is only going to celebrate hard, aggressive and passionate cricket rather than great cricket. In that case, it will have a reasonable amount to celebrate from Australia - and still, I hope, from England, in patches at least.

But had the Collective been out to celebrate only great cricket then it wouldn't have that much to celebrate even from the Aussies. Here's the really ugly truth: this isn't a brilliant Australian side. Ponting is brilliant, and so's Warne. But that's it. Clark's been very good. Not great, just very good. McGrath and Lee have been good in bursts, but not, repeat not, world-beaters. And aside from Punter and Hussey, the batting's only decent. Haydos should be put out to pasture, or, better, shot and turned into glue. Martyn's rubbish. Clarke's good. Not great, good. Gilchrist still looks a shadow of the player he used to be.

An Aussie side from a couple of years ago would murder this lot.

Anyway...

Yours in cheese.

posted by M. Reynard @ 10:10 am