I don't like Cricket

Live blogging from my advent calender

Well here we go. Its 1 December and the countdown to Christmas has begun. Let the fun begin.

For the cheese afficianados out there, all I have beside me is a Maltesers advent calender and pint of water.

1.34 - Need I say it? Strauss gives his wicket to the mid-on fielder. Nice. 32-1.
1.31 - Monty's on. Brilliant. Our dreams have come true. Err... Sorry to disappoint - he's just bringing on the drinks after the first hour's play. We are going to see Spain's finest bowling in this Test, not the real thing unfortunately. But one hour gone, no wickets down, 32 on the board. Can't complain. We need to score more quickly, but I guess we'll settle for this with the new ball.
1.17 - A bit of politics in the commentary box. The australian commentator is mourning the ban of the barmy army's trumpet player, condemning Australia as "the most over-regulated country in the world." You can feel the TMS stuffed suits bubbling with fury at the thought that music and fun should be allowed at a test match. Did I ever tell you about the time CMJ condemned my behaviour live on TMS? No. I'll save it for another time, but I do feel honoured to have been called "a disgrace" live on the radio.
1.08 - In the comments box someone has urged us to click on his link and help make him the "coolest guy in the world". Two things: 1) How cool are you that you have to beg for friends on random blogs. 2) At least pretend to know something about cricket before you beg for our friendship. I urge the rest of the Collective to ignore his pleading. In the cricket meanwhile this pitch is slower than a Northern Line train on a Monday morning.
12.59 - Four lucky runs for Cook through the slips. "The little margins of cricket" according to CMJ. God, this is really quite benign. Everyone keeps talking about intensity, but I think the only thing that will keep me up tonight is an intense burn from rolling over on to my hot water bottle. Apparently Geoffrey Boycott doesn't have a chair in the commentary box and his view on this is: "A joke. Half the commentary boxes in the world are a joke." Don't mince words GB.
12.51 - Back from the kitchen and I'm already feeling the benefit of my HWB. 9-0 after five; sounds competently safe. My views on Boycott are well known, but I love his brazen partisanship - he's just been celebrating the bodyline test at this ground. We all love to see an australian batsman take a few body blows, but normally no one has the guts to say it. Well done Geoffrey.
12.39 - Cook gets the first runs. McGrath looking safe but no cigar. Having to concentrate on my laptop in bed is quite chilly. Am going to get my hot water bottle so there had better not be anything happening in the next couple of overs.
12.35 - Maiden from Lee. But not tough for Strauss - no risk of that rogue pull coming into action. McGrath comes on from the other end - round the wicket to Cook. Three slips and a gully this time round. He's got a blister on his heel - has anyone got a rusty pin to burst it with?
12.31 - Lee opens. Two balls wide outside off stump. Only two slips and a gully. All sounds like Ponting doesn't trust Lee's bowling. Bring it on.
12.29 - the umpires are on the pitch and the crowd are singing Swing Lo Sweet Chariot. Well done aussies - can't tell the difference between a cricket song and a rugby song.

posted by wes @ 12:28 am