20 February 2007

Speaking ill of the dead

Like a sickly child who's had hands layed on them by a dodgy, shouty Texan preacher, this blog has come back to good health and is now dancing the flamenco once more.

I know that I should stretch the agenda beyond the Australians, their impending failure in the World Cup and a glorification in their recent failure against two mediocre one day teams. But just for one moment of nostalgia I'm going to look back on some of my favourite subjects:
1) Shane Warne. His brilliance. The fact he should be English
2) John Buchanan. His idiocy. His weak state of mind. His personal association with Chinese philosopher of war Sun Tzu.
3) Matthew Hayden. His ability to be a prick. English celebration in his failure to be the brute he imagines himself to be.

Fortunately for the rest of the Collective these happy subjects all roll into one so I won't bore on for much longer.

After today's Australian defeat (which resulted in Hayden scoring a massive 180 and then breaking his toe - a joyful moment) Warne has started to attribute blame. And its no surprise where the blame is going - our good friend Ned Flanders.

Still getting over the mental torture of being stuck in the Bush on the pre-Ashes Bonkers Boot Camp, Warne said:
"From what I hear, the boys trained really, really hard, probably too hard and it affected them. They got tired for the finals [of the CB Tournament] and didn't perform really well so John Buchanan has to take responsibility for that. If you're playing international cricket, all you want to be is fresh and happy. You don't want to be trained into the ground. But that's the way he wanted to do it but it didn't work out. Hopefully it will hold them in good stead for the World Cup."

What a great attitude to playing the game: train once a while; don't play to often; smoke a few fags; text a lot. That is the way to 700 test wickets.

All Buckers could come back with was bluster:
"I think that's nonsense. The notion of overtraining, I'd like to know what the definition of that is. This is a one-day side and Shane hasn't been around that for a while. There's been plenty of comment from people on the outside and I would say if it's constructive help that would be great, but at the moment I find it pretty unhelpful."

Miaow!

I love watching the Australian's in disarray. Its only a shame that New Zealand have slightly taken the shine off our victory.

Now you know you can write better than me so get in touch with Steve and join the Collective.

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