Requiem for El Rey
Lines on the cricketing death of a king
So, farewell then, Ashley Giles,
You were an England player,
And the very King of Spain.
How fickle fans we are.
Have we forgotten how we used
To cheer you as a hero,
Those spells holding one end tight,
The useful gully fielding,
And those twentysomethings at number eight,
So utterly devoid of character,
Yet occasionally so crucial?
Now you’ve been usurped
By someone younger, sexier,
Sikhier,
With more dip and revolutions,
And more natural batting style.
We love him to distraction,
And it’s you we’ve cast aside.
Alas, poor Gilo.
In truth, your greatest quality
Was that accidental nickname,
Derived when some deaf eejit
Returned to Warwickshire an order
Of mugs that should have read:
Ashley Giles – King of Spin.
Now, again, you’ve become hated
For something not your doing:
Duncan Fletcher’s stubborn nature
And his dour Zim safety firstness.
Let’s hope you don’t become,
Like Gogol’s famous Madman,
Confined to an asylum,
Convinced you’re really head
Of the Spanish royal court.
(Though somehow I think that's unlikely.)
posted by M. Reynard @ 9:52 am
9 Comments:
Truly Superb RD - possibly the best thing that's ever been posted on this site.
I've had a go myself.
(To the tune of My Ol' Man's a dustman)
KP's from Soweto,
He wears an England cap.
And when in bed with Jessica
He likes to lick her tw*t.
(I'll get my coat)
Steve, you're a shocker! Besides which, cap and tw*t is an inexact rhyme. Caps and baps, maybe?
All over before Christmas. You won't even have held the Ashes into 2007.
By the way, I'd like to add that I'm a cock. A gormless, annoying little cock.
Accept no imitations. I dare say if I was an England "cricket" (I assume that's what they are *trying* to play) fan I'd be cheesed (geddit?) off too. But there is no need for personal insults.
No doubt, though, you'll be blaming the foreign officials shortly.... hahahahahahahahahahahaha
at least the English know when to appeal and when it's blatantly NOT OUT!
shane warne puts panto dames to shame!
Only a few more months to go and you'l be handing over your Rugby World Cup too.
oh blah!
will someone say something nice about Alastair Cook please?
He's very handsome. Oh, and his century was good to watch and well deserved (I'm an aussie but I guess I can concede that)
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